KLAV

I’ve been asked to find something about this distasteful city that I really, sincerely like. Well, okay this is a bit of a stretch but here goes:

1230AM (KLAV) between 2100 and 2300hrs every day plays reruns of The Twilight Zone and When Radio Was.

1230’s programming tends toward the boorish, smugly-superior neoliberal talk radio tripe that thinks it’s so much damn smarter than the nationally-syndicated conservative talk radio hosts they hate by launching impotent little ad hominem attacks at them mostly by way of making ridiculous puns based on their names (Fill O’Lie-ly[1], Hush Bimbo[2] and Spawn Blandity [3] et al). Not that I like the conservative talk radio hosts all that much, Hannity in particular makes me homicidal, but Frankensian name-calling and finger-wagging does not valid criticism make, in fact it makes you come off like a petulant child and not an important media personality to be taken seriously [4]

– But –

In these delightful two hours, KLAV’s retro radio broadcasts find me and fill me with a feeling of delightful nostalgia and ease. I grew up[5] the same way as my grandparents’ generation did, listening to the radio. Old episodes of Zone and The Shadow, a local AM station used to rebroadcast them on sunday mornings, and honestly, when all you have are two VHF TV stations, both of which would broadcast church programs all damn day, and honestly to which would you rather sit through?

These old radio programs always held my attention more than TV did, as with radio, your imagination fills in the pieces that your eyes are missing. You’re not distracted by bad camera work or editing, not annoyed by shoddy prop design or visual effects. No, your imagination fills in these gaps, making the visual part as perfect as you can imagine rather than being behelden to the cut-rate talents of television producers on a shoestring budget.

Also, my first girlfriend in college gave me a box set of Old Time Radio CDs. Even though the memories of her have faded into the distance of a decade past, those CDs have been played and replayed and ripped and burned and copied and media-shifted so many times that all I can think of when I try to remember her voice is Orson Welles describing a horrific slithering mass pouring from a crater in a Grover’s Mill pasture.

So, here I am, facing the edge of thirty and all of a sudden I’m twenty again, ten again, listening to these old radio dramas from the forties, fifties and sixties. Ray Bradbury space adventures and The Shadow adventures play alongside Sam Spade mysteries and Abbot and Costello comedies.

Certainly I could go through the effort of downloading the episodes of these old shows and listen to them at my leisure, but then I’d be robbed of the excitement and anxiety of not knowing which show is playing next and whose voice I’ll hear. Few things in my life are enjoyable as hearing Vincent Price’s amazing vocal presence lilt and creep it’s way through the humble Jeep Cherokee that is for the time being, my home, office and primary method of conveyance.

I’ve been asked to find something I like about this town, well here it is; I really, really like 1230AM these two hours every weeknight. To the point where I intentionally avoid the first hour of my old favored standby radio program – Coast to Coast AM.

Thank you, KLAV, for bringing me the one thing in this city that brings me true joy.

[1] has O’Reilly been relevant in the modern conservative discourse in the last five years? I ask this sincerely.

[2] Michael Savage’s lame little punny aside. Does he even have a show anymore?

[3] as much as I hate to agree with a boring neolib, Hannity can basically go fuck himself, he’s the reason I loathe conservatives as much if not more than liberals.

[4] ha ha, self-deprecating irony-as-comedy. Do you see what I did there?

[5] quit spreading that scurrilous lie. You never grew up.

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One Response to “KLAV”

  1. Jenn Says:

    ahh the numbering leading to questions in ingenious! rather then references commentary and questions – I like. I guess the donuts shop is #2 on likes list for the city?

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