Stupid Sexy Billboards

It’s taken me a month or so and I’ve started to dig through the backup files in my recollection and try to puzzle out exactly what the fuck it is about this city makes me utterly hate it. And I think I’ve discovered it: the needless and crass oversexualization of the casino advertising design.

Yes, I realize that sex sells. Diet Coke has Cindy Crawford guzzling cans in a red Corvette while ZZ Top riffs in the background and European travel brocures all flaunt images of topless beaches while Maxim magazine sports more chiseled manflesh in its advertising than Playgirl and Flex combined and yet, it’s been posited by ad magnates of the early-to-mid twentieth that needless oversexualization of ad copy doesn’t necessarily correlate to any increase of sales.

But yet here we are, 2010 and here’s a chiseled, marble-in-flesh seductively inviting me to… the damn buffet at the Eastside Cannery? I don’t get it, but this will be the first entry in my new category depicting needlessly sexy casino asvertisements.

"Oh tee hee shove this big glistening complete turkey into your face and then shovel down a couple thick slices of marbled prime rib and some asparagus spears down your unstoppable gullet and don't forget the mashed potatoes and two big old slices of double-pumpkin chocolate cream pie with hand-whipped cream and gummy bear sprinkles for dessert and you'll totally get a chance to go on a date with a shining bronze supermodel like me, tee hee!"

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