But Is It Art?

There’s this indoor swap meet at like Decatur and Charleston, don’t quote me on this because I was drunk and morose and kind of pissed off at my employment situation when I moseyed into the place.

Like most places in Las Vegas, this big indoor swap meet was full of Mexicans. Not that I have anything against Mexicans, it’s just an observation. Mexicans everywhere, selling Chinese underwear and iPhone cases by the boxload. One dude with a pushbroom and a sombrero hawks knives from the BudK catalog while another tries to get you to buy cheese-salted kettle corn.

In the back though, is an art gallery. Apparently this art gallery’s been there for twenty years, trying in vain to sell, among other things, oil paintings of celebrities. How… delightfully vapid and crass. Tres Vegas, baby. Nothing describes this city like an immense amount of effort and talent put into something that has, in the grand scheme of things, no actual worth or lasting value.

For instance:

Is that Merle Haggard on the right?

Yeah, that’s an oil painting of a photoshop montage of publicity stills culled from a Google Image Search of Miley Cyrus as Hanna Montana. I think the price tag on it was like sixty bucks.

Good luck to you, buddy. I hope someone buys it. I mean honestly, who would spend hard-earned money on a very crude oil painting of a washed-up celebrity that’s riding the very tail end of their popularity and will soon be replaced by a younger, hotter, blonder new act – tossed aside like so much an empty adult beverage container upon the street to be trodden on and destroyed underfoot by the very people who once celebrated its existence…

Oh whoa wait holy shit, is that a crude oil painting of Don Rickles? When I get a house, that is totally the first thing I’m going to buy.


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